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Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. ~Twyla Tharp

Saturday, December 14, 2013

I'm a Liar Pants

Confession #1:  I am a big, fat liar pants.
Confession #2: This is the most passive-aggressive blog post ever.

Sigh.  It's so close to Christmas and I know Santa is watching.  I haven't had the most stellar year and I feel the need to come clean.

Why the need for confession?  Well, I lied to a colleague yesterday.  Flat out told a big old fib.  It just rolled off my lips like nobody's business.  Didn't even think twice about it.

In an effort to redeem myself, I feel the need to offer up some excuses background.  I, like so many of my art teacher friends (and regular teacher friends to be sure) spend a ton of my own money for supplies in the beginning of the school year because I get very little money for supplies from my school.  It's just the way things are.  I deal with it and I do it without thinking twice.  Throughout the school year, when I see things that are on sale, or I have a coupon, or they are in the Dollar Spot at Target (can I get an amen! for the the Dollar Spot, my peeps?) I'll pick things up.  Ziploc baggies, little papier mache boxes, do dads, thing-a-majigs, metallic sharpies, ribbon. The list is endless. I like art supplies.  I don't mind sharing stuff with my kids if it means that we can do something cool and exciting and different.

My school purchase order at the end of the year looked like this: 2 reams of heavy drawing paper, tempera paint cakes in 9 different colors and 2 gallons of white glue.  That's it folks.  Supplies for 1 year and 300 + kids.  I also get to order construction paper with 'School Supply money' that I house in my room, and share (gladly) with the rest of the school, because when the other teachers use it, that means they are probably doing some cool projects in their classes.

I got a phone call from a colleague yesterday.  She asked me if I had some glitter and some glue for a project that I am sure that she needed in, oh, I don't know, 10 minutes or so, never mind that I was in the middle of a class of 6th. graders trying to put together star books. 

Instead of saying that I do, as a matter of fact, have glue in my storage closet and I do, indeed, have glitter (TONS of it!) in my desk drawer, I lied and said, "Uh, no.  I don't have any glue or glitter" and I hung up the phone.  But you know what?  I bought that glue with the $150.00 that I have to stretch between my 300+ students that I'll teach this year.  That same $150 dollars that you got at the end of the last school year for your class of 10 kids.  I bought that glitter with my own money because I saw it on sale last year and I had a coupon and I thought, even though I HATE glitter (what art teacher/custodian likes it?) I knew that on occasion I like to let the kids loose and kids FREAKING LOVE GLITTER for crying out loud.

I lied.  I could have given her some glue.  I could have given her some glitter.  But I didn't.  I was mad and selfish.  My pockets are not bottomless.  Plan ahead.  Anticipate needs. Go buy your own glitter.  Pffffft!

So I hope that Santa will forgive me my selfishness.  I could really use some love right about now.  And maybe a couple of gift certificates from Michaels, AC Moore, Hobby Lobby, Dick Blick, Sax, Cheap Joes, Triarco, Pearl, Binders, Jerry's Artarama, Nasco and so on and so on, ad nauseum.